Christmas 2008

As Christmas approaches, I have mixed emotions. I have both sad and happy emotions. I have always enjoyed the preparation for Christmas. I enjoy trying to find the perfect gift for Rick. I love the Christmas celebrations in my community and in my church. My parents and my sister and her family are out of town. I miss them but what I miss the most is what I do not have yet. When Rick and I started the adoption process I expected to have Caroline within a year. I wrote in her journal that she would be home by Christmas 08. I guess I was wrong about that. Nara and I watched the video below and we both began to cry. Nara cried because Caroline is not home. I cried because I realized that Caroline is probably not born yet, and she probably will not be home next Christmas either. How many more will we plan for without her?
I am happy and thankful for my health, husband and home. I am thankful for my parents, sister and the rest of my family. I am thankful that I get to celebrate Christmas through the eyes of my step-daughter.

I hope one day when Caroline reads her scrapbook blog that she realizes how much she was wanted. On Christmas 2008 we will say a special prayer for her and wish she was with us.